So Ryan has been going through what I HOPE is a phase! He won't stop hitting, whether playful, powerful or on purpose he just won't stop. I have mentioned before that this is one stubborn child and what took Jason seconds to learn, seems to take Ryan months. We have tried time out, sitting in the corner, the "naughty" stool (super nanny), taking away toys and eventually spanking and he just isn't letting up. It has become embarrassing taking him to nursery/friend's houses etc.
He has always been a very physical boy--loves hard, plays hard (nothing from hugs to punches/kicks are ever soft)--and it seems like he can't DO or communicate anything without some aspect of physicality. He has to constantly touch you, usually by hitting, anytime he wants your attention/emphasizes a point/gets frustrated/even playing has to be accompanied by some element of hitting. I'm not sure what to do anymore--I'm ready to lock him in a dark room and walk away for a few days! Any advice??
6 comments:
sorry, i don't know the answer, since i am raising a bunch of biters! but, as far as the physicality goes, have you read the book, "the 5 love languages of children"-- it offers a really good perspective on how your children communicate love and how you can communicate it to them, in fact, this reminds me that i should probably read it again!
when carter went through this phase i was told to read him the book "hand are not for hitting." i don't know if it worked but i did get it from ebay. hang in there. it is just a phase.
I can relate, I'm sure you remember how physical Quinn was. Your post basically describes how I felt for a very long time. "Love and Logic" has changed our lives. Quinn is older now and a little more calm, but no matter what the problem is Love and Logic answers the question. They give step by step, specific solutions. It's not time consuming, but it can be difficult at times, you really have to do exactly what they say, and stick to your guns, but I think you will be surprised at how quickly he starts to get it. I would recommend a class for you and Scott to go to, most communities offer them, and sometimes they are free, and sometimes there not. Also, I would strongly recommend buying some DVD's and CD's to listen to in the car. It's easy to kinda relax after you've done it for a while, because your kids are doing so well, but as soon as you start to relax with it, they start acting up again. I'm not saying you won't have any problems anymore, but you will know what to do about it. All I can say is the time and money we have spent on this is more then worth it. The peace that has come into our home because of Love and Logic is immeasurable. I truly feel it is inspired. Email me if you would like to know more, you can also go to www.loveandlogic.com, and learn a lot. Good Luck, you have the hardest job in the world, believe me, I know:)
Oh my Gosh Natalie your Kids are so big It has been way to long! How are you guys doing! It was good to read and see all you guys have been up to! You have a sweet family!
Shoot. Wish I would've heard about the "love and logic" thing with Broox...do you remember his hitting issues. ya I was pregnant with Cooper and remember crying to Gary one night about it. I remember feeling embarassed, stressed, and exhausted. One thing that sort of helped was to bring him inside and open the blinds and let him look outside at the "kids having fun" and would tell him too bad he hit them or he could go out too. I gave it about five minutes and then would try it again.
As he got closer to 3 I realized he had some language delays and had him tested...that's when the bus started picking him up for pre-school. :) I'm not saying your little guy has a language delay but hindsight it was an issue for Broox b/c he couldn't express what he wanted to say to the kids to get their attention so he would hit. Eventually he quit...wish I could give you an exact time frame. Hang in there!!
FYI if you or anyone ever wanted testing done, its free (tax dollars) thru the school district. You can call the school district office for info in your area. It took about an hour and validated a lot of my concerns. (sorry i just went on for 10 years.)
Hudson was very similar, I remember having to apologize over and over to moms and it was humiliating to say the least. We just always did time outs, we did the super nanny system. ;) It helped a little, but he really didn't grow out of it until he was about three. I'm sure it's just a phase. It's really more common than you think! Anyways, we're so bummed that you guys won't be attending the reunion, I seriously thought Justin was going to cry when he heard the news! You and Scott are like the life of the party!! It definitely wont be the same without you guys, at least we have the next one to look forward to. Good luck with your delivery, hope everything goes smoothly for you!
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