I've been in a funk the last few days--just ask the ladies from "girls night out" when I sat and stared off into space for 3 hours straight. They couldn't figure out what my deal was. This morning was the final straw--nothing major had occurred, just little things building up over weeks and months and years and pounds until I took a hot shower, bawled like a baby and let the drain wash all the snot and hormones away. I made it out of the shower and then gave up again, plopping down on my closet floor hating my maternity clothes and the really cute shoes and wedding ring that don't fit right now. Looking back, I looked pretty funny with Ryan standing next to me, squishing my cheeks in between his chubby little hands saying, "ok mom, ok mom" checking up on my hysteria and wondering what in the world was wrong with his crazy mother.
Yet amidst it all, there were things to be thankful for:
1. Jason who decided to "clean" Ryan's room aka the toy room from HE*L where carpet had not been seen for days, drawers hung open with clothes hanging all over and bags of unpacked who-knows-what had been stashed during the move. He came to say he had a surprise, grabbed my hand & lead me down the hall, insisting that my eyes stay closed. Of course his gift brought a fresh wave of tears for my boy that knows just what to do to make me feel better and even a bought of laughter at all the toys "cleaned" by shoving them under Ryan's bed, in the play kitchen oven and even in the dresser where I have no intention of digging them out--they can rot there for all I care!
2. For squirt guns and lawn chairs that allowed me to sit and take pot shots at the pigeons that keep landing on our freshly planted grass, eating all the seeds. I even wondered how many birds I could take out at close range with Scott's shot gun. Don't worry, I stuck to my water pistol for today but if the crazies get worse, you never know!
3. And at the end of the day for a husband who walks in the door, doesn't ask questions, loads up the family and off to Cafe Rio we go. Oh coconut shrimp tacos with mango dressing, how I love you right now.
4. Last but not least, the quiet happy hours I am currently experiencing as boys sleep peaceful and I get ready for a foot rub and Glee.
So much to be grateful for...just keep reminding me over the next few months!
4 comments:
oh natalie! i WAS worried about you! you didn't want to complain-- but thats what the girls are here for! we feel your pain! we know your hormonal imbalances. i, too, have cried hysterically in my closet-- or shower-- or wherever-- and that was only last week! (and i'm not even preggo!-yikes!) hang in there-- you can do it! <3 ya!
The beauty of pregnancy is all i have to say...gotta love the mental irregularity. I'm jealous over the Cafe Rio part though. I would eat there every meal if i could. I used to go there all the time in Provo with Broox and we'd split the burrito enchilada style...sure you wanted to know that. Hang in there!
Oh Nat! You make me feel so much better about my emotional breakdowns. Sometimes I think, "Can this really be my hormones making me crazy? Or am I really crazy?" Hang in there. We are almost done. Your boys sound sooo adorable! I wish we lived close enough that I could know them better!
Nats,
You need to this of this time as your "new normal"--everyone else is crazy!
Aunt Julie
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