Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Smells Like Poop!

So I'm sitting in Sacrament Mtg.--Scott is passing the Sacrament because there aren't enough Deacons--we are in the middle of the opening hymn and Jason loudly states "It smells like POOP!" I already have my hands full because Ryan doesn't have any volume other than EXTRA LOUD, Collin wants to stand up and screeches any time I set him down, and Jason is sniffing something suspicious. I start sniffing as well--sniffing Collin, nope, sniffing Ryan, nope, sniffing Jason, better not be him he's totally potty trained. I tell Jason he's crazy but he insists something is STINKY. Pretty soon he is turned in his seat, facing backward right in the older couple's faces sitting behind us. He sniffs loudly several times and -- while looking straight at the couple -- says "I'm right Mom, it smells like POOP. Their breath stinks, they need to brush their teeth right Mom?" He stands up, walks to the opposite end of the bench and plants it there instead of in front of the poor couple--all the while plugging his nose. Bishop sees me wrestling with the boys, red faced, ready to grab them and the diaper bag and high tail it out of there before the Sacrament has even been passed and what does he do? Invites me to bare my testimony before turning the meeting over to the rest of the congregation. When I hear it, my head whips up fast--like someone had YANKED the back of my hair--type of fast--he's still chuckling and I'm vowing to toilet paper his house for family night. I start with something like "Bishop was watching me from the pulpit and figured if he didn't get me out of my seat and away from my children they might not make it through the rest of the meeting alive." Thank you life, thank you so much!