Chocolate Frosting

I am in a generous mood and thought I should share a little piece of heaven with the known blogging world. Here is the recipe for my FAVORITE chocolate frosting of all time. Wash your hands because you are gonna want to stick your fingers in the bowl for a taste!

1 pkg cream cheese (8oz)
1/3 c butter, softened
1/2 c cocoa
3 c pwd sugar
4 oz melted chocolate (I prefer semi sweet or unsweetened for that rich chocolate color--the type of flavor is up to you)
whipping cream

Mix butter & cream cheese well. Add cocoa and melted chocolate. Slowly add powdered sugar until smooth. Add a tbs or two of whipping cream if frosting becomes too thick for your use. Enjoy!

A nice distraction!

I was asked to make a cake for a friend's baby shower Saturday night. I got to spend Friday and Saturday "playing" with all my fun tools & recipes--just what the dr. ordered to take my mind (and tummy) off of life-as-I-know-it. The photo isn't that great and the cake wasn't perfect but I had a great time and it sure tasted GOOD!

I used one of my favorite chocolate buttercream recipes--I'm not a huge fan of how fondant tastes even though the final product is much smoother. I personally prefer buttercreams--thus the "not so smooth" look of the cake, but rich creamy frosting was worth it. The decorations were made out of modeling chocolate--one of my favorite things to play with. It has the consistency of a tootsie roll but can be molded, cut out, shaped etc just like fondant--and again, tastes much better! Last but not least, underneath all the fluff was chocolate fudge cake with a raspberry cream filling. Delish!

My 5 Stages...

So a little insight into me--I love the tv show SCRUBS. I think it is hilarious, a completely unrealistic, realistic show allowing characters to say and do what I feeling like doing but would be socially outcast if I did. So last night we were watching a rerun about dealing with the 5 stages of grief and I decided that I am smack in the middle of the 5 stages of "dealing-with-my-life-as-I-currently-know-it" and the lack of control I have over ANYTHING! The first few stages are easy to come by: I have been angry--A LOT--when Ryan wakes up for no reason at night, multiple times, and I am getting less sleep now than when he was a new born! I have thrown tantrums at 1pm when he refuses to take naps but have pulled my hair out at 4am when he decides he is up and ready for the day. What 2 year old does that? I have been in denial about my ever expanding belly, hips, thighs (among other things!) even going as far as to purposefully wear clothing that would simply help me look "chubby" instead of pregnant so as to avoid conversation about it. (yes this child was planned and we are very happy for he/she to join us but believe me people, talking about and going through #3 is much different than the thrill of child #1 or even #2--not bad, just different.) I just want to SCREAM at the cosmos that I have paid my 9 month "dues" with Jason and Ryan and haven't I earned the right to just be handed #3 and not have to deal with all this other CRAP? Which leads perfectly into the bargaining stage--it pretty much sounds like I'm willing to make just about any kind of deal in order to get out of the next 6 months of life! Now, depression is an interesting one. I don't really do the depression thing--unless something incredibly tragic happens, I just don't see it coming--I'm much more prone to the anger/denial/bargaining stages, they come so naturally to me-ha ha (I think that should worry me but it doesn't, I fully embrace it!). And so, last but certainly not least brings me to where I am at now, acceptance. I cannot control where we will be living in the next 2 months--here in Kingman or Las Vegas. I cannot control that I'd REALLY like to buy a house where ever it is that we land but I don't know where that is, when that will happen, not to mention the fact that settling down for the next several years in either of those 2 locations was never in my game plan. But, AGAIN, I have NO CONTROL and I am accepting that. Also, I accept the fact that I don't do my makeup everyday like I used to--I'm lucky to get in 2 days a week--Sundays and the other day I brave life outside my house to run necessary errands. I accept the fact that I only have 2 pair of pants that fit me: 1-my favorite fleece lounge pants that look more like pjs than something I should be wearing to the supermarket and 2-the pair of jeans I bought after Ryan was born that were 3 sizes too big but I refused to wear maternity pants when I was no longer pregnant--and they don't zip up anymore! I accept the fact that my house is a disaster and I'm constantly fighting to chase after my kids (especially Ryan who is the ANGEL OF DESTRUCTION) in order to maintain any semblance of organization at all. And last but not least, I accept that Scott has not eaten a hot breakfast in nearly 3 months, is living off a steady diet of apples, granola bars and slim fast shakes because the thought of getting out of bed and facing the day before 7:30am makes me want to bury my head in the ever abundant DIRT of Kingman, Arizona!

Wow--although there is so much more...I'll spare you and just say that if you hear from me, see me, get a text in the next 6 months--feel lucky because that is more than most will be able to say. I accept my non-controllable-life-as-I-know-it and simply say bring it on. I can't guarantee that I'll do anything about what comes, but I accept it nonetheless. AHHHH!